The Twin Formerly Known As Hokuto
by Fatal-Breath
Summary: After Hokuto's death Subaru learns a devastating truth from Obaasan and Seishirosan.
1. Chapter 1

**The Twin Formerly Known as Hokuto**

**Chapter One:**

For many long years no one ever told him the truth, no one opposed him. Whenever anyone had ever tried to talk to him about it he shunned them. He would ignore them, take Hokuto's hand in his and tell her all about the bad people who spoke of terrible things. Obaa-san hadn't the will to tell it to Subaru. She knew it would break his heart, the innocently pure child he was. It was in Subaru's ninth year she decided the hold over Subaru must be broken soon. She arranged for the meeting.

In his dreams he sees her waving to him, wearing his ceremonial robes. She turns away. A dark figure awaits her beneath the falling petals of a sakura tree. Seishiro, with blossoms in his hair. His hand strikes fast, and she dies.

"Hokuto!" he yells as he shoots out of bed, released from his catatonic state. "Hokuto!"

Obaa-san is there. She lunges at her sixteen year-old grandson as he attempts to run out the door.

"Subaru-san, what is it?" she pleads.

"Hokuto…" is the only reply she gets as he sinks to the floor, tears falling from his eyes.

The phone rings. She leans over and grabs it. On the other end a voice tells her what has befallen. The power of those words are moving.

"You mean…?" The caller concludes it to be true. Obaa-san hangs up the phone and looks at her grandson. He stares blankly at the ceiling. Now is the time to tell him the truth.

Subaru reveals that he is going to drop out of school to catch Hokuto's killer.

"Oh, Subaru," is all she can say. Still, she does not tell him.

It is at the funeral that Subaru finds it all out. No one is there: none of Hokuto's friends or family. It is only Obaa-san and himself. Obaa-san takes his arm and pulls him aside, out of the rain.

"Obaa-san, where is everyone?"

She looks at him with eyes that implore silence. He obeys.

"Subaru," she sighs. "This has gone on for far too long."

Subaru only looks at her, waiting for her to continue.

"Subaru, there is something I've been meaning to tell you, something that I have put off long enough. Your sister, your twin, Hokuto," she stumbles over her words, something Subara has never witnessed. She takes a deep breath. "Hokuto, she…oh Subaru, she doesn't exist!" The last comes out in a rush and Obaa-san tightens her grip on Subaru's arm. "She doesn't exist. She never has."

Subaru gazes blindly at her, and then roughly shakes his head.

"No, no…i-it can't be true."

"I'm afraid it is." Once more she is professional, her answer curt. "I've wanted to tell you for so long."

He shakes his head again and backs away. She reaches out for him.

"Subaru, you must listen."

"I can't. This is a lie. You are lying to me. You must be."

Obaa-san closes her eyes and folds her hands on her lap.

"Then why is there no funeral? Where is her headstone?"

Subaru spins around. Still no one has come. He looks back to Obaa-san, emotions chasing each other across his face.

"Why are we here then if not for Hokuto?" His eyes beg his grandmother to tell him that she had been lying, that this was all just a joke, a cruel joke. It broke her heart to see but she could not back down. Subaru had to know the truth.

"Because I knew you'd never believe me. This is my proof to you." She waves her hand across the empty ritual grounds. His eyes follow. "Where are her friends? Her acquaintances? The family? Where is anybody?"

Still, he refuses to believe.

"Why would I lie to you, Subaru, about something like this?"

He looks wretched; down-trodden and broken. Plaintively he asks:

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I tried. You've no idea how hard I tried. But I couldn't. You were so happy, and you had always been alone. She helped you. But I underestimated the emotional bond between you and her. I should've told you sooner. I know that now."

She lowers her face, not looking at him. "But I did try to help. In a way I did try."

He kneels down in front of Obaa-san, grasping her small hands in his. "How do you mean?"

She gives him a small smile. "I tried to get you to realize it without me telling you myself. I tried, from the shadows, to influence your perspective of reality."

Subaru forwns at her. "Obaa-san, what—?"

"I hired someone. Someone who specializes in illusions. But I never dreamt it was going to end like this. Though now I see I should've expected nothing less of him."

Subaru's skin grew cold. He knew not what his grandmother meant but he had never seen such a desolate look in her eyes. He felt shivers run down his spine. He squeezed her hands rigidly. "Whatever do you mean, Obaa-san?"

Tears glittered in her eyes as she looked at him. She made no attempt to stop them. "Subaru, I'm so sorry." Silence, and then:

"When you were only nine, do you think it was by chance that you met the Sakurazukamori?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

_Tokyo, Japan, 1999_

His breath fogged the air in heavy, rapid gasps. The pentagrams flared harshly, accompanied by a burning pain, before subsiding completely. Subaru spun around wildly in the darkness, looking for the source he knew was there. It could only be one person, only one person had the power to ignite the pentagrams. Now he waited only for the shower of sakura petals Subaru had come to expect.

The crunch of gravel behind him forced Subaru to turn around. He did it slowly, preparing himself. Yet still, after nine years, seeing Seishiro Sakurazuka came as a bit of a shock.

He was still the same. The hair, the clothes, the air of mystery and darkness. It was all the same. Except for his eye. Where Subaru had last seen bandages covering half of his face, Seishiro had replaced it with a milky orb. The sight was disorienting. He smiled at Subaru as he approached. Even that was the same: not so much a smile as a smirk.

Subaru, on the other hand, had changed quite drastically. He had lost the soft edges of his youth and replaced them with the sharp angles of an adult. He was still stunning, so much so. He was skinny, but had always been so. His once large green eyes had become smaller and greyer with misery and despair and hatred. His hair was shorter, more appropriate for the 25-year-old he was now. He had grown from the shy, happy, beautiful boy into a depressed, tragic, beautiful man.

Subaru closed his eyes as a well of memories overcame him. Him, as a child, chasing after Hokuto in never-ending fields of green; as a teenager being helped to his feet in Shinjuku train station by a kindly man after taking a nasty fall, who introduced himself as Seishiro Sakurazuka; Seishiro's constant declaration of his love for Subaru and Hokuto cheering him on loudly in the background; Hokuto, with a bloody hand through her heart and Seishiro's infamous sneer; a voice, calling to him, telling him she's not real, she's not real. _I loved you…_

Subaru pressed his palms against his closed lids, trying to push back the memories. He opened his eyes.

"Hello, Subaru-kun."

Subaru swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to hide his feelings, trying to look more in control than he was. A smile twitched at Seishiro's lips and Subaru groaned inwardly.

_You cannot deceive the Deciever…_

"Seishiro-san, I've been looking for you for a long time."

Seishiro shoved his hands into his pockets and glided closer to Subaru. "Why?"

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

"You know what."

Seishiro shrugged his shoulders and a single sakura petal fell from the night sky and grazed Subaru's cheek. From a distance someone was calling, calling for him.

_…Su…ba…ru… …Su…ba…ru… …__SU…BA…R—_

She was cut short, and all Subaru could think of was Seishiro's hand wrapped around Hokuto's heart, ripping it out and spilling her life blood all over the snow. Red on white…. She was calling for him. She _needed_ him…

Subaru shook his head, ridding it of the thought. "You bastard."

Seishiro smiled. "It comes with the territory." He fished a hand into his breast pocket and pulled out a pack of Mild Sevens. He offered on to Subaru, who declined, then lit one up for himself. The tiny molten ember seemed so out of place in the darkness. It was all alone.

"You know she never existed, right?" Seishiro brashly broke the silence. Subaru's face crumpled with sadness as he nodded, not looking the Sakurazukamori in the eye.

"So, what exactly is there to talk about then?" Seishiro exhaled a thin trail of smoke into the air and watched it dissipate. Subaru had to quench his own sudden desire for a cigarette, wishing desperately that he had taken the one Seishiro had offered. He silenced himself. There were more important things at hand.

"What isn't there to talk about?" Subaru asked nonchalantly. "You kind of left in a hurry, you know, and left a few things hanging."

Seishiro studied him for a moment before replying. "Well, all things considered, I didn't think I was on the Sumeragi V.I.P. list anymore."

"I'm sure Obaa-san feels differently," Subaru said bitterly. "But, in all fairness, Obaa-san would never admit she was connected to you in any way. It's against our laws to associate ourselves with the Sakurazukamori."

Seishiro laughed. "But, 'in all fairness', I am still connected to your darling grandmother. Through you; through these." He grabbed Subaru's right hand and gently traced the pentagram, igniting it again at his touch. Subaru snatched his hand back, hissing. He rubbed the pentagram, trying to ease the burning pain.

Seishiro stood there looking smug. "Oh, did I have to deal with your grandmother that day. Heh, I can still remember what she said to me." He raised the pitch of his voice, imitating Obaa-san. "'This was not part of the deal, Sakurazuka-san. Nothing like this was supposed to happen.' I told her that for me to get a better idea of what was in store I needed to keep track of you at all times. And she believed me." He raised the cigarette to his lips again. "I must be very good, to disillusion your grandmother."

He offered the cigarette to Subaru, who sighed and took it.

"Never once did she question me," he continued. "I was, I am, the best. She knew I would complete the job. Do you know that the entire time she was unaware of our bet? She just thought that your case was a challenge and I needed time to figure out a solution. Nonsense. I could have finished with Hokuto the very day I met you sixteen years ago. I knew the only solution was to 'kill' Hokuto." He paused and took his cigarette back from Subaru. "But all I wanted was a challenge. Illusions I can deal with. People, easy. But myself? Ah, there was a challenge. Could I learn how to love from the adorable little child in front of me? There was no way for me to know but to find out. And we have already seen the results." Silence descended, and inside his jacket Subaru was fidgeting.

"Why did you leave me alone for seven years, then? Why didn't you come sooner? Why did you wait until I was sixteen?"

"I already said. It was because of the Bet. I wanted to meet again with you under voluntary conditions. What would you have said if I turned up at your house when you were only eleven and declared that we should become friends and possibly lovers? Could you imagine? No, I had to wait until you were old enough to know what love was, more than just the love of a parent, and I wanted it to be a chance meeting. Though if the chance hadn't happened, sooner or later I would've made it happen." He raised his hand to stop Subaru from speaking. "You wonder why your grandmother never figured something out. I lied, that's why. As I said, I told her it would take me time and lots of research to figure out a solution. But I already knew the solution."

Subaru whimpered. "But why was killing her the only solution?"

Seishiro let out a frustrated breath. "That's all you care about, isn't it Subaru-kun?"

_No it isn't,_ thought Subaru. _I care about so much more; about you…_

"It was the only solution," explained Seishiro, "because you cared about her much too deeply to let her go easily. You are a powerful onmyoji, Subaru. You had the strength to keep her alive until you, or she died." He reached out and put a hand to Subaru's cheek; he flinched away. "I knew that the only way you would listen was to break the illusion entirely. In a sense, murder her. Only then would you be free to realize the truth. You had put so much power into her that she seemed so real, more real than some others. Subaru, that strength for illusions is rare. You, like me, are an Illusionist."

Subaru turned away. "No I'm not. I could never create the illusions you do, nor be able to deceive others to believe them."

Seishiro chuckled. "I'm sure that if you practiced you could become almost as good as I am. But on one point you're wrong: you can lie, Subaru. You lied to everyone, trying to make them believe that Hokuto was real. You believed so much in that lie that you made it foolproof to yourself. There was no way you were ever going to find your way out of that lie without assistance. The reason why no one else saw your illusion was because the Sumeragi clan quickly realized what she was, an illusion made by you, and told others this truth. So she appeared only to you. Your belief for something nonexistent was stronger than your belief for anything else. Your grandmother feared that your ties to this world would sever if you weren't made to realize the truth. So she called for help. And in I came, and did my job. You now know, and have known for the past nine years, that Hokuto was never real." Seishiro glanced to the side, and there stood the small shape of Hokuto. She looked exactly as she had the moment she died, down to the gaping hole in her chest. Subaru felt vomit crawling up his esophagus and suppressed it. Seishiro waved his hand languidly and Hokuto disappeared.

"Isn't that what you wanted to hear, Subaru-kun?"

Subaru swallowed loudly and gritted his teeth. "Partly, yes."

"Partly?" Seishiro cocked an eyebrow.

Subaru plunged right in, before he lost his nerve. "What about you and me?"

Seishiro's eyes widened and he was as close to gawking as the Sakurazukamori could be. A moment passed, and then suddenly a deep chuckle rolled out of him.

"What is so funny?" Subaru asked angrily.

Still laughing, Seishiro replied: "My darling Subaru-kun, there never was a 'you and me'. It was all about me."


End file.
